The safety net is broken
by Tonisia zan frella Sherlolly
Summary: An Ethan/cal growing up story. 13 year old Ethan is not having the life most people think he is and it's getting hard for him to cope. Him only has his best friend Amelia no one can save her not that he knows it. WARNING: triggers self harm a suicide scene and a rape scene it wont be graphic just thoughts rated t for a reason. First chapter is a summary of the story. niamh
1. Chapter 1

The safety net is broken

Summary:

What if Ethan has never been as strong as cal thinks? If we dive into the mind of 13 year old Ethan, a extremely clever boy in his last year of study for his GCSEs at eaton collage, why exactly will we see? Will we see the safety net that Caleb Knight has always seen? It will we see a very different side to Ethan? Not outgoing and kind. Nothing very Ethan at all.

Discover how Ethan copes with drama at school and 16 year old cals drinking habits his mothers illness and the sudden suicide of his best friend. When the ever cocky cal comes back with his b grade and has a party but Ethan's a* grade doesn't earn him one can he cope? To what extremes does Ethan go to not feel pain?

When Caleb needs his only safety net to catch him after he gets into trouble due to his drinking problem. Can his safety net catch him? Or does he need catching first?

Warning triggers: basically Suicide, self harm and all of that stuff. If your suffering don't suffer in silence tell someone it will help I promise.

Disclaimer: I do not own casualty. However Amelia Marcus Aled and Melbourne are my characters. Also should Ethan and cal's mums surname be Hardy or Knight?


	2. Characters

Chapter 1:

Summary (so you can decide weather or not to read it based on an idea from the last few episodes cal/Ethan story line):

Meet the characters. Learn about the characters in the way I've written them.

Ethan Hardy:

Umm h-h-hello my name is Ethan I'm 13 years old and am sitting my gcse's at eaton collage. Every one thinks my life is good and I'm happy I'm not. Marcus,Alexander and Melbourne are the hunky sporty players of my year and the year below and every day the beat me until I can't stand see and sometimes breath properly. No-one notices and if they do they don't ask about it or they know whos done it and are scared of helping. My brothers no use he's 3 years older than me has an alcohol problem and brings a different girl home every night. I wouldn't change him though, I would never change Caleb Humphrey (I made that up its not his middle name) Knight for the world. So that's me very lonely but I have one friend her name is Amelia.

Cal Knight:

Hey my name is Caleb but don't call me that call me cal i won't answer to Caleb. I'm 16 and am sitting my gcse at 's high school. My little brother Ethan attends eaton collage trust him to get a scholarship but of course. Perfect child that's what he is. I hate him but "hate is true strong a word to use against someone you dislike" I need my little brother much more than I care to admit what with our mothers illness. (Btw I don't know what she actually had so in this story she's gonna have something that's slow acting I'm thinking huntingtons that fortunately cal and Ethan'didn't inherit). I would not be able to cope without Ethan.

Amelia stoker:

Hi how are you? I'm Amelia and I'm 16. I go to Eaton collage where I only have one friend he's called Ethan. Ethan got a scholarship to our school and he's only 13. He's the only person who's kind to me the rest of my peers and family don't care about me I could easily die and only hurt Ethan. I couldn't hurt Ethan. Ever.

Marcus smith:

What's up? I'm Marcus all the girls fancy me cuz I'm so awesome. I'm the rugby captain at eaton collage. There's that stupid Ethan kid in my year he is an idiot I hate his soul. Or that's what I make everyone believe. In reality I have the biggest crush on him ever and that's not fair because I'm straight. So if I hurt him that will go away right?

Alexander Algernon:

Hello my name is Alexander Algernon I'm 16 and I attend eaton collage because my parents payed for me to come. Not like that scum Hardy whos just very clever extremely clever. Who's brother is hot as hell. Ok there I said it I'm gay and I will never tell my parents let alone Marcus he'd kill me so I go along with his "lets beat up Ethan" idea.

Melbourne-India-rose carter:

Hi there I'm Melbourne-India-rose but I like Melbourne or India it's up to you. I'm eaton collage's hockey netball and rounders captain. My half brother is Marcus and he always beats up this Ethan kid in the year above me so his year. It kinda annoys me because his friend Amelia is cute as they come. I mean I know I shouldn't feel like this but I do, I'm petrified of what Marcus would do if he knew.

Lily:

Hi I'm lily (not until later chapters) and I work with cal and Ethan. I'm not sure which one I like or wether its jut Im smitten by them both.


	3. Actual start of first chapter

**Hi so this is the start of the actual story this is only part of the first chapter as I thought it would be too long if I added the whole thing. As a result the next chapter will be shorter than this I hope you can understand how that Works. I'm writing a chapter ahead so this fic doesn't become dead but please bear WitH. Mmkay. Please r&r criticism welcomE. anyway Niamh out! **

Chapter 2:

Ethan's pov

I wandered through the empty halls I was an hour early for school to hopefully avoid getting beaten up before school started. Sometimes I was successful, usually I wasn't. Silently, I made my way to my first lesson, I smiled, medical sciences. Medical sciences was one of my favourite subjects partly because I really wanted to be a doctor and partly because Marcus and Alexander didn't do it. I walked in and took my seat. The singular seat at the back of the class in the corner next to a window. I pulled out my note book and started to draw, meaningless things lions and llamas and flowers. I had lots of note books all for different things. I had a drawing one, one for my ramblings, one for my stories and one for every subject I do. Medical science went by quickly and I had managed to write 4 pages worth of notes. I pulled out my timetable and sighed...Latin. In Latin the teacher chose our seats and I was sat right next to Marcus. My teacher always told me to try harder with my Latin, but it wasn't that I found it hard it's just hard to concentrate when you being repeatedly kicked. The bell rang causing me more distress break time was upon us I needed to get out of the classroom quickly then I could get to French without being caught. When the teacher told us to pack up I just threw my bag over my shoulder and picked up the stuff that was on the table and ran out of the room I flew down the corridor and up the stairs. I walked into the French room where Amelia was already sat I pulled out a chair and sat down opposite her.

"Good morning?" I asked

"Yes you?" She responded

"Well had to run up here because I had Latin and it hurt like hell because Marcus managed to hit the same bruise over and over again."

"Oh so pretty good then"

"Yeah.." I replied we both sat in silence reading until the bell rang we both had French so I just turned my seat round and faced the front. In French we got our practise exam results back I got an a* I was so pleased. The teacher then informed us we'd be doing a French homework project and she was picking pairs based on performance. I froze the only other person with an a* was Marcus. I was going to have to spend time with him. I couldn't deal with it i picked up my bag and stormed out of the classroom. I ran full speed into the boys toilets and slammed open the door to the first cubical. I shut the door and locked it. I pulled a little packet out of my bag and opened it. As I placed the blade to my wrist the main door flew open.

"Ethan Hardy what did you think you were doing running out of you classroom like that?" I heard the headmasters voice and knew lying was my only option.

"I've been sick sir," I muttered trying to sound as sick as possible

"Ok Ethan can you come out please?" He asked his tone now completely different.

I put the blade back in my bag and flushed the toilet. As I opened the door the headmaster came up to me.

"You do look rather pale how about you go home?" He said

"Could I? I really don't feel good" this was not a lie in complete honestly I always felt like I could be better.

"Yes let me get you a taxi come along." He said. I followed.

Soon I was bundled into the back of a taxi and sent on my way home. Thank god for that.

Cal's POV

When I got back from school I noticed Ethan's bag on the floor. Why the hell was he here?

"E-e-Ethan" I slurred

"Umm h-h-I cal good day?" He asked

"I had a drink" I mumbled

"Never," he said in the most sarcastic tone he could.

I literally hate it when he does that. I began to walk up the stairs and my baby brother bolted into his room. What the hell? What's up with Ethan?

Marcus' pov

I'm so happy I get to work with Ethan which means I can have him. I can make him fall for me. Ethan Hardy will be mine and no-one will stop me. No-one can because I need him.


	4. Part 2 of chapter one and end of chapter

**So when you finish the second part of chapter one here tell me what you think is going to happen I'm interested to know. Tell me who is going to rape who why? whos going to commit suicide and why? Hint there's two suicides and which one breaks first cals safety net Ethan's safety net or Lily's? Ohh plot twists! Anyway ill let you read the rest pod the chapter which I felt sick writing. **

Ethan's pov

I'm gonna have to face it, I have to work with him. It's gonna be hard he's an idiot. He's bullied me for the whole of the two years I've been there and obviously the only person I've told is Amelia. I mean I've never lied to get out of anything apart from showing people my scarred wrists but today I had to lie. I had to tell the headmaster I'd been sick and not that it was because I didn't want to work with Marcus because obviously he'd ask question. I couldn't have anyone ask question. Cal would have helped the old cal, the cal that let me curl up next to him and rest my head in the crook of his neck during storms and my mum and dads arguments. I used to go with cal to his dads house and play with his little sister Anna she was so nice but then the fire happened and they all died. My only escape was over I always had to get out of my house. Honestly, I'm scared of my dad I know he's hit my mum and he's hit me. He's hit me almost as much as Marcus and his gang have. I'm fucking useless I'm so alone not even Amelia knows my secrets . If I left now who would notice. Cal would find me though I can't let him see that he's so fragile. I've seen him break so many times so I have to be strong for cal and Amelia. I don't give Amelia enough credit because honestly I wouldn't be alive without her. She doesn't even know how much she helps me just by well speaking to me. I was so disappointed when I found out Amelia was only in two of my classes French and dance. I should probably tell you the subjects I do. I study medical science Latin French German history geography dance performing arts music along with English and maths. So that's my subjects all of them I know that's a lot but if I get into kings! (Btw kings is the best med school in the country and one day I wish to attend it). I'm going to be a doctor when I'm older so is Cal. I want to work with him. Anyway, it's time now because today's actually been quite bad. I pull out my sweet release. That little thing that would make me smile. I brought the razor to my wrist and made the cuts. One cut two cuts three cuts more and I was finished.

Marcus' pov

What should I do should I go up to him? Ask for his number? His address? Then when I'm with him what do I do with him? Kiss him? No is that to much a little bit too much. Jut hint to him?

I think I need to speak to him about it. I have to I can't live without him much longer. He consumes my soul. Everyday he's all I have on my mind. Everything is Ethan I hate to admit it I really do. I'm officially wrong and disgusting. I AM GAY! I always feel like going somewhere and just yelling that at the top I my voice. I can't wait for tomorrow's French lesson because we have to start. An hour with him it's gonna be fun. I can sit really close to him and get really close to him. I'm a few weeks I can make my move I will have him he will love me. Wether he wants to or not.

Cals pov

My little brother always thinks I don't know what's going on. I know he's getting bullied and beat up at school I know he's self harming but I'm scared to bring it up. Scared to hurt him he's my safety net. I think this every night as I slip into bed in the darkness and I sleep until Ethan wakes me screaming.


	5. Chapter 2: well umm well

**I'm hoping to write a few chapters this week as I'm off school. Read and review please. **

Warning angst! Almost smut but not smut but not fluff either don't worry the rape isn't this early on.

Chapter two:

Ethan's pov

I woke up before my alarm this morning it was 5:00am when I woke up. I saw no point in going back to sleep so I got up hey I might have time for breakfast this morning. I got dressed quickly and put on my glasses. I ran downstairs and made 8 pieces of toast. What I hadn't had chance to eat in 8 days really. I buttered them and put a thin layer of jam on top wouldn't want to get fat now would I? I ate them slowly. I shovelled in what was left when I heard my mum moving up stairs. I grabbed my bag and flew out of the front door before she could even call my name.

I walked down the street and reached the bus stop as the first bus was heading my way. I got on and payed the the driver. Sitting down at the back of the bus I pulled out my iPod and put a playlist on shuffle immediately my chemical romance started playing in my ears. It's only 6:00 which means ill get to school at 20 past so 2 hours early great. I stumbled into my French room 2 hours early and kept my iPod on jut quieter than I would usually. The two hours flew by and soon the class was full and the Teacher was at the front of the class.

"Ok everybody today we are going to be working on our projects I've put you into pairs which you all got told yesterday so can you please move to sit next to you partner now." She began I heard Marcus sit down next to me.

"Great, the project will last 6 months and you will be writing a script for a play entirely in french that must consist of 100,000 words at least. I've put you in pairs based on ability so that you can all achieve your full potential. Okay off to work. Ethan Marcus you are to go into the office so that no other pairs disturb you I expect perfection." I felt sick I was going to be in a room on my own with Marcus for an hour.

"Eth are you coming?" Marcus asked the nerve.

"Oh sorry yes." I said picking up my bag.

I walked across the hall and saw Marcus holding the door for me I ran inside so he couldn't slam the door on me.

Marcus' pov

I stepped inside after Ethan and closed the door. I turned around and walked slowly towards him shit I was taking this to far. I kept walking until he was cornered to the wall my body rebelling against my mind. I caved. Full of lust I smashed my chapped lips into Ethan's smooth ones. I kissed him hard and passionate and moved so I was as close to him as humanly possible without grinding myself into him because that would be a little to far. I needed to breath so I moved back and looked at him. The cutie looked so confused.

"What the hell was that?" He asked

"Well Eth I'm sorry about what I've done to you I only did because I had to try and convince myself I wasn't gay but I am and I can't help that." I replied in all honesty this was almost true.

"Ok well good for you but you can't just do that after abusing me for god knows how long." Ethan shout whispered.

"Ethan," I leant down and put my lips to just below his ear a point I knew was sensitive and I felt him shudder under my touch. Maybe he'd give me what I wanted. Carefully, I moved my lips back to his and moved them this time gently and love motivated. For a second I could have sworn he was kissing back so I loosened my grip on his wrists and he slipped out.

"Marcus can we start the project?" He asked. I sighed.

"Yes ok dork we can start the project," I said.

We'd managed to completely finish our initial plan by the end if the lesson luckily. I realised that we'd need to work on this after school so I turned to Ethan.

"Umm Ethan do you wanna work on the project after school as well?" I asked trying not to show how nervous I was.

"Urrr sure why not" Ethan said

"Ok meet you at the bus park my house or yours?" I asked

"Yours!" He said very quickly.

"Okaaay?" I said slightly confused

"Can I call from yours?"

"Yeah of course." I said

"Oh thank god," he said

"Hey, free period next for me what about you?" I asked hoping it was for him.

"Same I'm going to study." Ethan replied.

"Why don't you spend it with me I'm the only one of my friends with a free period?" I asked

"O-o-okay" Ethan stuttered god he's adorable when he stutters.

"Follow me," i said

We walked until we reached my favourite hang out spot it was a tree in the corner of the field. It had a bench inside it but no-one came down here I knew we would be undisturbed. I sat down and slouched against the wall off the tree. Ethan positioned himself a few inches over from my left uptight and straight backed.

"Ethan relax a little," I said

"I can't not around you. I'm scared of you Marcus," he said

"I am scared of you too Ethan," I said

"Your not though are you, I'm so much smaller and weaker then you.." He started

"On the contrary your bigger and stronger than me your also extremely cute." Ethan blushed

"Look Marcus I think it's best if I leave."

He said.

"No please don't please." I whispered.

Ethan's pov

No no he can't take advantage of me he just can't its not fair. Should I tell cal? I have to tell cal. Cal should know what to do he always does he's the best brother ever. Well he was. Caleb changed so much. We used to be best friends he was all I had. He still is. However, as much as I love him he's driving me insane. I had to leave get out of school I don't feel right. Run Ethan run! Go home run! Thoughts were swimming through my mind I couldn't do any more. I ran.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 3

Cals pov

I need a drink why am I sober? I don't know Dave! Where's Dave gone?

"Dave?" Hang on where am I?

I'm at home. Is mum here or umm small one... Ethan?

"Mum?"

"Ethan?" Was no one in? Great home alone with a massive hang over! Fun times.

Ethan pov

I ran out of school and down the street I had no idea where I was going I didn't care. I ran for about 30 minutes until I stopped by a burnt down house. Why had I come here? Why bring up the bad memories? That's exactly why I came here though the bad memories are at home here are the good memories. Playing with poppy and actually smiling for a small amount of my life. This was the only place I ever felt happy. The only person living who could cheer me up now would be cal but the old cal not the new one. Not the one that gets plastered every night. Not. The one who never speaks to me. The one who just wants rid of me. Cal couldn't care less about me now the old cal cared I couldn't have done it without the old cal I want him back. Caleb please come back I love you more than anyone I need you Caleb I need you. Caleb please I need to have you as my brother please don't change why did you change? Amelia was the only one I have now I only have her and to be honest our friendship isn't anything it's just a security we had to take from one another. But I need cal.

Amelia pov

Great now even Ethan's abandoned me. Then again it was going to happen Ethan's too good for me every ones to good for me. I'm alone even if Ethan's Around I'm alone. I want to die. I can't deal with anything anymore. Not since my mum died me and Ethan were the only ones at the funeral I'm pretty certain my dad didn't invite anyone else. He hates me absolutely hates me. I hate him but not only does he hate me he hits me. I've never told anyone that not even Ethan and some of the things I've told him! I often unload my problems on him; he must have his own problems though. I know he does with Marcus and the others. I feel really sorry for him just because he's clever and actually more clever than them they hurt him. It's wrong. I also envy him. Two parents both loving and a brother who , although has gone a bit of the rails, really cares for him. Caleb is a contradiction; theres kind loving Caleb and then there's evil drinks until he passes out Caleb. Caleb is everything Ethan needs I'm not he doesn't need me. I have to tell him.

Ethan's pov

I felt my phone vibrate it was a text from Amelia it read

" I had to tell you

She cracked her thighs

And littered her wrists

She fought to hard

Against the wish

The pain got to much

It's all a lie

Her smile is fake

She wants to die

She likes the black

The black is sweet

But she is saved

By someone she'll never meet

He saved her soul

But lost his own

Now he cuts

Right down to his bone

The blood it pours

The pain it strikes

He knows now

He can't put it right

His fight is over

His soul relived

And that young girl

She'll never believe

He was a doctor

He was a man

He had to save him

Come up with a plan

But how do you save

The one can't be

You can't do it

Let him be free

She cracked her thighs

And littered her wrists

She fought to hard

Against the wish

We all knew it would happen

She was going to break

So she wrote a poem

The best she could make

And what was that poem

Oh your reading it now

Bet that hit you in the face

With a massive pow.

She was free

Alone in the night

But there was the girl

Who put it right

She may have been young

But she was strong

She had the power

She stopped the bomb

I may not be old

But I know some things

Life is to precious

To throw in the bin

You may not see it

But your life is great

It's open and free

The full plate

The glass is half full

It's not half empty

You can't give up

When you haven't begun.

Good bye and Ethan.

I love you..."

I dropped my phone. Amelia please not Amelia please. No not Amelia. I bolted towards the school I knew where she'd be I just have to hope I'm not to late.

**An: this has over 1000 reads holy crap! I have I problem I think the story's going to fast don't worry I have some plot twist coming up! Next bit of news for you is I'm changing how I update I'm going to try and update every other Wednesday/ Thursday. This is possible because the story isn't overly effected bit the story line in the episodes. can this get to 15 reviews oh and guys... is Amelia alive? Let me know what you think. **

**Niamh out! **


	7. Choices

Chapter 4

Choices

Ethan's pov

I ran down the bank towards bone dead hill. All thoughts flying through my head I should have known I Should have known! I reached the top of the hill and saw a body laying over a rock? No it was a school bag.

"Amelia!" I yelled

"Amelia can you hear me?!" I asked kneeling beside her limp form.

"Oh my god..." My eyes welled with tears as I felt wet seeping through my jeans blood. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialled nine nine nine I just hope I'm not too late.

Amelia pov

I can feel the black swallowing me and it feels good. All the monsters have retreated beneath the bed. I'm happy it's the most amazing feeling ever all I want is too end now!

"Amelia!" Oh great! Ethan found me. I drifted out of consciousness. The next thing I knew was that was being lifted I didn't know who by or why I was being lifted. I was placed back down again and I felt someone grab my hand I knew that was Ethan.

I heard bleeping all around me I was clearly in hospital, had Ethan cared that much I didn't believe it. Ethan oh no he'd seen me! What would that have done to him. Ethan is my only friend. I've pushed him away now haven't I. Ugh stupid stupid stupid. Why didn't he just let me die why!? Ethan please why did he bring me here? I want to die i want to die.

Ethan's pov

The hospital sent me back to school. I was sitting my English mock exam. I can't do it. I won't be able to do it. I read the task.

"Write a poem. It must express an emotion without screaming that emotion. Good luck. "

I thought a poem ok.

" stupid

Dumb

Thick

Fat

Ugly

Blind

Four eyes

Fag

Gay

Retard

Emo

Idiot

"Why don't I die"

Stupid

Dumb

Thick

Fat

Ugly

Blind

Four eyes

Retard

Emo

Idiot

Stupid

Dumb

Thick

Fat

Ugly

Blind

Four eyes

Retard

Emo

Idiot

"I want to die"

Stupid

Dumb

Thick

Fat

Ugly

Blind

Four eyes

Retard

Emo

Idiot

"I can't do this"

Stupid

Dumb

Thick

Fat

Ugly

Blind

Four eyes

Retard

Emo

Idiot

"I can't do it"

Stupid

Dumb

Thick

Fat

Ugly

Blind

Four eyes

Retard

Emo

Idiot

"I'm thick I will fail. I want to die.""

End of poem.

I sighed. The teachers wouldn't like this. Who cares I did what I wanted to do I did what I'm supposed to do. I followed the task. I am done with the test. I just want to go to Amelia. I want to be there when she wakes up. If she wakes up. I can't bare the thought of her not waking up. I can't think about it. I don't want to think about it.

"Time up please exit the room silently." I picked up my bag as left the room I went straight to reception and say down. I knew no-one could hurt me there and pulled out my phone. I started playing Tetris when I received a phone call who could that be. I checked the number. It was the hospital.

a/n I already know how bad this chapter is but who cares i cried and I need to move on more than you understand so I had to end it there. Preview: lets spend the next chapter with cal! I really enjoyed writing the next chapter this one made me cry.

r&r more REVEIWS = quicker update.


	8. Chapter 8

**I admit this chapter is really bad but I actually really like the Ethan and Cal relationship in this scene. So, I will let you read and speak again at the end**

Chapter 5

Cals pov

I stumbled through the house; it was about 2pm and I had just woke up.

My head was banging and my legs felt like they would collapse underneath me. I really needed to pull myself together, the night before I had got home to Ethan crying. He needed me and I couldn't help because I was too tied up being me. I was too drunk. I need to stop drinking for Ethan's sake, I don't know how much he needs me I just know he needs me. If Ethan needs me I have to clean up my act. After all who knows how long it will be until he's the only person I have left?

Exactly not even the doctors could tell us that. Huntingtons acts slowly and it's impossible to tell what will kill her when and really why. I love my mum and it scares me that she could die tomorrow. People think its strange to fear for your mothers life when she is only 35 but wouldn't you?

Luckily me and Ethan don't have it! Which is good but I carry. Carrying means that if I have any children there is a 50/50 chance of them having Huntingtons. Obviously, that makes me very upset to the point where I don't really want children. I mean I don't want to put them through that sort of thing. I need to stop drinking. It will be difficult, the most difficult thing I've ever done but i'll do it for Ethan. I'm doing this for you buddy everything will be all right. I started to feel sick really sick. And the hangover begins. I have to stay sober I have to. Caleb you have too. You don't have a choice. The next few weeks were going to drag on I could already feel it. It's important that I don't drink so important you don't even understand. It was so hard to not drink even after an hour of being sober but no. I am going to do it.

I went upstairs to have a shower; I smelt of alcohol and it was not attractive. Attractiveness level up, I mean my brother is supposed to be, no offence to Ethan, not as attractive as me and to be honest right now I think he'd have a better chance than me. Obviously, this cannot continue. As I got dressed, I heard the door unlock; Ethan was home I dressed quickly and hoped down the stairs.

"Hey little brother!" I said Ethan sprung back with fright

"Oh Caleb it's you, surprisingly your not drunk today. I wonder why that is?" He asked as he pushed past me and walked up the stairs. I was left dumbstruck in the kitchen until I realised what had happened and knew something terrible had happened.

"Ethan what happened," I yelled as I ran up the stairs.

Ethan's pov

I ran up the stairs tears brimming my eyes, I couldn't believe it. I had the received the worst phone call ever and now I just want to die.

That won't be hard.

1 cut

2 cuts

3cuts

I continued until about 100 bleeding wounds lined my left arm. I like it when it's like this because

_"Though the people around me _

_Their mouths are still moving _

_The words are forming _

_Cannot reach me anymore"_

"Ethan what happened?" Cal yelled as he ran up the stairs. I let the tears fall, I knew the old cal was here as I couldn't smell any alcohol on him. I just needed to feel cals strong arms around me and I hoped he'd oblige. Sure enough I felt protective arms around me and that soothing voice whispering in my ear. I turned and buried my head in the crook of his neck.

"Hey nibbles calm down please. You do know you can always speak to me. Don't you?" Cal whispered

"No, I couldn't cal. You were always drunk, I have needed you so much cal and you weren't there. Cal, i cannot deal with everything anymore. Its too much and you aren't there. The only person i ever needed was you Cal, you promised you'd be there when i needed you. where were you today? i needed you cal, i needed you and you weren't there. You are never there, you're always drunk. You want to know why I need you Caleb? Do you? I know you do you can't lie to me! You can never lie to me, I can read you like a book. When you have no idea whats going on with me cal. I could die and you wouldn't notice for a few days Caleb. I have no-one Caleb. No don't tell me otherwise Caleb. I need to tell you something, I have to tell you and you have to promise me your listening, swear. Cal listen to me, listen to me. Promise me you won't judge me. Cal, I-I-I, Marcus he, I. I-i cal i ugh cal, caleb. Cal I'm being bullied"

A/n

so, that's that! How will cal react? This chapter was horrible to write the tears were so real. Please read and reveiw and remember, if your down find the honey.


	9. Pls don't report rating based on wattpad

**A/n ok can I just say about the end bit of this chapter, I'm not sure if this fits into this rating here but the is a 13+ fan fic and on wattpad stuff more graphic than mine is pg-13 rating.**

Chapter 6- The Hidden Truth

Cals pov

I knew it; it was obvious. Ethan was always in distress and I knew that that was a sign of bulling and I did nothing about it. I didn't do anything because I thought that if this was true Ethan would come to me. I can't believe he thought he couldn't tell me, I have to stop drinking. I have to put a stop to it.

"Shush Ethan it will be fine," I muttered Ethan crying into my shoulder.

"It won't cal, Amelia is in a coma. I have no friends." Ethan said before resuming his now manic sobbing. I looked at him and my heart broke, whoever had broken my little brother, he was a dead man.

"Ethan whos doing this to you?" I asked careful to not push him to hard

"People," Ethan replied simply

"Ethan I need names," I stated

"Umm cal I need to go, I have a project in French and I promised I'd go and do some tonight."

"Oh ok who's your partner?" I asked

"Marcus smith" he said then it clicked

"The same Marcus you said had been bullying you?" I questioned

"Nope that's a Marcus who isn't in my year I need to go cal."

"Ok ill drop you off."

*time skip to Marcus' house*

Ethan's pov

I pulled up outside Marcus' house told cal to pick me up in 3 hours unless I called him and said goodbye.

Tentatively, I stumbled up towards the door and knocked lightly. I heard shuffling behind the door and eventually it was pulled open by a messy haired Marcus.

"Ethan, I didn't think you were coming. Come on in my parents are out so we have the place to ourselves." Marcus said as I entered I took in my surroundings. Marcus had a large house, it was clearly well furnished, and the walls were painted a light beige. My eyes directed towards Marcus, his piercing blue eyes scanned my body, so I took a moment to take him in. I had never noticed it before but Marcus had really tanned skin, his eyes were bright and round, his hair usually spiked was at an odd angle and... It would appear he'd lost his shirt. I felt a blush creep over my cheeks and the bridge of my nose as his eyes continued to scan me.

"*cough cough* Marcus you seem to have lost something" I said

"What? What have I lost?" He asked perplexed

"Umm your shirt." I muttered

"Shit! Ethan I'm sorry I didn't mean to. Are you ... blushing?" He asked. Shit.

"No it's cold out." I said quickly and Marcus chuckled.

"Liar, it's July." Fuck

"Well for July it's cold out." I said

"Liar. You like it, you like me." He said.

"No, I don't how could I. You've bullied me for years?"

"I've seen it in loads of phanfics"

"This is real life Marcus." I said

"I know," he said biting his lip. No. I backed away as he walked closer. No. I kept walking backwards until the door hemmed me in and Marcus encompassed me.

"Marcus what are you do-" I was cut off, not again. Marcus' lips felt so wrong on mine and I just wanted him off. I was too weak, my cutting had made my arm weak and I couldn't stop Marcus.

*warning getting a bit smutty now haha this will go well (it's not smut don't worry just a bit touchy feely) dot read of your not comfortable with it.*

His hands wandered over my body which tensed under his touch. I could feel him pressing against me and I wanted more. I don't know why but this had gone from the worst thing in the world to just all I needed. I craved Marcus or I craved his attention. My body relaxed and I felt his lips touch my jaw. He made his way along my jawline slowly and finally made his way to the spot under my ear that we both knew was my sweet spot. I felt an unfamiliar knot in my stomach as Marcus left his mark on the side of my neck, earning a loud groan from me. That only caused him to press himself closer to me. His lips drifted to mine and this time I caved. I kissed back, our lips moving in sync, he licked my bottom lip asking for entry and I slightly parted my lips allowing him in. Our tongues battled for dominance, eventually Marcus won. I felt him smirk into the kiss and instantly stopped. No, he'd got me trapped.

**please don't report me I adapted to his so it was appropriate (I hope) and I told you when it was. And if you read it than its your choice. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter** 7

14 years later ( massive time skip for what at the moment will probably seem stupid)

Ethan's pov

I walked into work and got changed. Today was going to be hard and I already knew it, I was just glad cal wasn't here today. I have to just keep going, whatever happens I can't let Marcus win. As I exited the locker room, I bumped into Lily. Well I could already tell this was bad, really bad. I was mentoring Lily for the day, fun times.

"Hey lily," I said

"Hi, I was wondering if I could go off on my own today because..." I cut her off

"Lily I've been told to mentor you so that's what I'm going to do. I do not believe, as my brother does, in rule breaking. However, if I believe you are deserving of a solo case I will gladly offer to shadow you." Jesus she's annoying.

"Oh ok..." She said rather quietly so evidently out of character. I sighed,

"Look lily I'm sorry I snapped its just today isn't a good day. Something very bad happened to me quite a few years ago."

Ugh stupid said something, I said something.

"Ethan, it's clearly making you stressed, do you want to talk about it?" Reasons I shouldn't have said anything.

"No lily I do not want to talk about it and you don't want to hear about it. Trust me." I ran off. It wasn't that I didn't want to talk about it, I couldn't talk about it. I ran straight to the bathroom and stood in one of the cubicles. Eventually, I fell to the floor in tears. Today was too much what's it going to be like in two months. After about two minuets, I heard the door fly open and footsteps on the floor.

"Ethan, Ethan mate are you in here?" I sighed she'd sent lofty in after me of course.

"Please, go, please" my voice got cut of by my sobs.

"Ethan please come out, I'm not gonna judge you. If you want to talk about it you can tell me. I promise you will be ok. I won't tell cal." He said. I can't tell him maybe I can though if he doesn't say anything to cal it won't matter.

"You won't tell cal I told you? He already knows. Promise please swear on whoever means the most to you's life."

I heard him chuckle.

"I swear on the hospitals life."

"Where can we talk?" I could feel my stutter bubbling inside me.

"Firstly, unlock the door and come out please Ethan. It will be easier for us to chat." I unlocked the door and walked out.

"Right okay I'm going to lock that door there ok. Then you don't have to walk anywhere. You got that?" I glared at him.

"I'm not stupid..." I said

"Okay..." He giggled "how about you talk about it?"

"Firstly, the only other people who know the details of this are cal a judge two police officers and him." I said

"Okay, remember you don't actually have to tell me." He said

"So, 14 years ago today I was set a French project where I had to work with my bully of 4 years.

Whilst we where working on the project he urrrr he umm he kinda made a move on me. Then later I told caleb about the whole bulling thing and I had to go round to this persons house. After cal dropped me off, I barley got into the house when he made a move on me again. Only this time I couldn't get away, I was trapped and I'm not going to lie the attention was nice for a moment. It was horrible and I couldn't get out. I didn't know what to do, so I did what my instincts told me to. I lashed out I tried to kick him and I tried to punch him but he kept going. Everything felt wrong, the way he was pressed against me, the way my lips felt on his. I can still feel him inside me. Lofty, I can still feel his breath, I can still hear his heart beating. I want to be free and to never think about it, it's been ok but he got sentenced two months and two days after to 14 years in jail. He gets out in two months and two days lofty what if he comes after me? I can't see him again. I can't hear about him again because if he finds me, Lofty, he might...he might...he might r-r-rape m-me a-a-again." I broke down I'm glad I told him. I feel so much better.

"Ethan Hardy, you need to stop worrying so he gets out of prison why not just get a restraining order on him, I'm sure the police would authorise it? You haven't told cal how you're feeling have you?" His tone changed as he changed questions I shook my head.

"He wouldn't get it, also it would break him."

Lofty frowned,

"Break him?"

"Cal gave up his drinking habit to help me, if he knows it didn't work.." I cut myself off.

"Ethan, it shouldn't break him, it shouldn't continue to break you and I don't think you've tried to get over it." I looked at him.

"What?!" I asked.

"I said I don't think you're over it."

I looked at him,

"ow could I ever get over it?"

**An sorry I took ages too update but I'm working on a small 2 shot following up from the stars are alining I need to get the story done first. It's important because you wanted it. Peace on and laterz **


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